how to build a barricade
first, take all the chairs in your office and place them in the main corridor where the elevators open. for stability reasons, if time permits, it's best to remove the wheels from the bottom. ergonomically correct chairs may have removable neck rests or back supports which should be also removed and woven into the mix.
the object of the chairs is to create a small puzzle which upper management may feel is solvable. that is before they get to the great wall of cubicles which will form your second level of fortification. cubicles are heavy and when pushed together, it may take the entire team of upper management and middle management yes-men to move them. with planning, you can devise a cubicle layout that will create a structural gridlock.
meanwhile, it is to be assumed that you and the few coworkers you don't despise are celebrating your stolen moments of liberty over microwavable toaster strudel in the employee kitchen. perhaps someone was visionary enough to bring starbucks or d/d coffee to work. otherwise, the last libation you will enjoy is folgers made in the decades old mr coffee with permanent coffee stains etched into the glass. add enough hazelnut powdered coffee mate and it's almost drinkable. turn on the radio attached to the clock in the corner whose red numbers have woefully scolded you to get back to your desk so many times. listen to the static-filled tunes on whatever station might come in. await breaking news about the swat team landing on the roof. you may have to turn up the radio to hear it over the helicopters and the moans of the other co-workers tied with scotch tape in the supply closet. those large post-its make great blindfolds when placed over eyes.
or, you could call in sick. or, you could find another job, start a new life, move to another city, create a new identity. though it's true that, should you build the barricade, most of these things will be settled for you.
you can use the wheels from the chairs, those spherical wheels, to lob at the swat team when they kick through the window. it won't hold them back, but it might provoke them to shoot.
you'll never take me alive, copper.
sigh.
it didn't work in les miz, either.
the object of the chairs is to create a small puzzle which upper management may feel is solvable. that is before they get to the great wall of cubicles which will form your second level of fortification. cubicles are heavy and when pushed together, it may take the entire team of upper management and middle management yes-men to move them. with planning, you can devise a cubicle layout that will create a structural gridlock.
meanwhile, it is to be assumed that you and the few coworkers you don't despise are celebrating your stolen moments of liberty over microwavable toaster strudel in the employee kitchen. perhaps someone was visionary enough to bring starbucks or d/d coffee to work. otherwise, the last libation you will enjoy is folgers made in the decades old mr coffee with permanent coffee stains etched into the glass. add enough hazelnut powdered coffee mate and it's almost drinkable. turn on the radio attached to the clock in the corner whose red numbers have woefully scolded you to get back to your desk so many times. listen to the static-filled tunes on whatever station might come in. await breaking news about the swat team landing on the roof. you may have to turn up the radio to hear it over the helicopters and the moans of the other co-workers tied with scotch tape in the supply closet. those large post-its make great blindfolds when placed over eyes.
or, you could call in sick. or, you could find another job, start a new life, move to another city, create a new identity. though it's true that, should you build the barricade, most of these things will be settled for you.
you can use the wheels from the chairs, those spherical wheels, to lob at the swat team when they kick through the window. it won't hold them back, but it might provoke them to shoot.
you'll never take me alive, copper.
sigh.
it didn't work in les miz, either.
posted by Cupcakegrrl at Wednesday, July 20, 2005
5 Comments:
The Man will always win. But build the barricades anyway.
...
I am TOTALLY going to do that now.
have you? and yet you didn't answer my request on the last venice post. i pictured you biting the end of a pencil over a bent and torn scrap of paper, building me a masterpiece line by line.
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i will distract myself by savoring the sweet anticipation that precedes an unveiling...
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