Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Proof of Life

Lately, every night I have a dream asserting that something or someone isn't really dead.

As one might suppose, when I wake up, I remember that-- oh, yeah, he, she or it really IS dead. There's an hour or two of head-scratching "huh?" disorientation.

This, presumably, is simply because it's only dead people that my subconscious mind feels a need to go to bat for. Those still living can generally speak for themselves.

Here are some recent subjects of dreams:
Errol Flynn
According to my dreams, Errol Flynn has left his body but has not passed on to the Other World. He's floating around this one waiting for his posthumous Oscar. At night, he visits people who admire him. I've recently enjoyed his company on two nights. The first, he took me to Disneyland. We shouldn't have had to stand in line (because he's a celebrity) but we did (because he's dead and none of the 20-something ride attendants knew who he was, anyway). He was a perfect gentleman about all of it.

In the second dream, he wanted to take me scuba diving. When we got to the water, it was frozen, so I demurred. He went on it. Said it was "refreshing." I suppose when you're not incarnate, subzero temperatures are less daunting. There's something to look forward to for all of us.

Long-time readers of this blog (and hail to you, if you have persevered through my inconsistant publishing record) will not be surprised to learn that my subconscious mind also refutes the death of Casey, my beloved border collie.

In a series of recent dreams, I learned that in fact she's been staying with a Boston-based lesbian couple that (apparently) I'm good friends with in my dreamlife. It seems that I asked them to take care of her for a while while I went to Poland to buy shoes. The trip took longer than expected because I couldn't find any pairs of shoes that matched. (Please regard my international shopping trip as a compliment to the Poland's excellent leather craftsmen, and overlook the implied insult to Polish intelligence. It was my fault I couldn't find matching pairs, as I was in a huge hurry.) But by the time I got back from Poland, I'd forgotten where Casey was and I never went back to get her.

That was a sad dream. She looked at me with such melancoly eyes when I ran into the gay couple walking her.

Another night, she was also seen running with the Wildebeest on the African savannah. That was a much happier dream. I was in a helicopter and saw her amongst the herd, stampeding. She looked happy. I debated about whether or not to bring her back to Jersey City. The helicopter pilot pointed out that it would be difficult to lassoe a running border collie in a herd of wildebeest. I reflected on whether I was being selfish...but I woke up before I made a decision.

Also, I've had some strange dreams about Clover, my rabbit who died last month. It doesn't seem to matter if she's dead or not. She's taken on a sort of Yoda personality in my mind. She's mentoring me in being stronger and wiser than I am. (If you haven't known a rabbit, you may suffer from the misconception that they are timid. To that I say, "Ha!" It takes a brave soul to be born in a relatively defenseless body, and Clover was one of the most amazing personalities I've been priviledged to meet. Think Gandhi meets Stephen Frye. She was profound and powerful, and sassy as all get out. When alive, she was able to convey all this with only body language and expressive eyes. Now that she's communicating through dreams, she gets a lot more oomph behind her message.

I don't think this is a very interesting post, and I doubt you will either. But my conscious mind felt I needed to assert that I too am actually alive. And I found a cool picture of Wildebeest, which Blogger wouldn't upload. But here I am. Alive, for what it's worth, and dreaming.

I'll write more soon. With any luck, it will be interesting.


Blogger Miss Marisol said...

I'd love to go to Disneyland with Errol Flynn, and your writing is never boring.

I wish I could remember my dreams.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking about your collie, and maybe what she is trying to tell you about the poland dream is that she is safe with friends (the lesbian couple) and so it is okay for you to go on with finding matching shoes (ie balancing your life and not just taking any old shoes that don't work together) and you don't have to go and get her, you just have to know that she is okay.
Does that make sense? (I have no idea what Errol Flynn is trying to tell you!).

5:49 AM  

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