the gentle art of handshaking
last night i went to a dinner party. i arrived with two bottles of wine as a hostess gift, but they were really as much for me as for her. i’d never met the other guests before, and i figured either i’d like them, in which case the wine would create a merry atmosphere, or i wouldn’t, in which case the wine would console me until i made my excuses and departed.
it was okay. i liked them fine.
as the hostess made the introductions, we all shook hands. and i realized again what a powerful first impression a handshake makes. i found myself judging these people based on their handshakes. and i know i always do.
how hard is it to get a handshake right? i ask you. yet so many people have bad ones.
there’s the “handing you a dead fish” handshake.
there’s the “I’m just going to c-clamp your fingers” handshake.
there’s the “i read a book that said a man should have a firm handshake so i’m going to squeeze your fingers until your rings bend” handshake.
here are some handshake tips:
stand up, unless you are a female over the age of 60. for anyone else to remain seated during a handshake (whether as means of introduction, greeting, or goodbye) smacks of unconcern.
the palms of the two people shaking should touch. they do not need to writhe together in a manual lambada. but they should press against each other. the fingers also lie parallel. no curling of fingers, grasping with fingers, or squeezing of fingers is necessary.
if you have sweaty palms, wipe your hand discreetly on your pant leg first. if you have sticky hands, say, “my hands are sticky, so please forgive me if I don’t shake yours.” and then go wash them. if you shake my hand and there’s a tackiness on your skin, i shall wonder what was on your hands and it will repulse me. this will make me associate you, forever, with unpleasant things.
there are probably other pointers to handshaking. but i was thinking about it as i met 6 people last night. by their handshakes i knew who i wanted to sit with at dinner, and who would be interesting to talk to. i was right.
although perhaps it’s like kissing and there are several schools of thought. i’m sure there’s someone somewhere in this crazy old world actually enjoys what i consider to be bad kissing. someone may be hoping to encounter the tiny pointed tongue that a recent date darted around in my mouth for the 15 seconds it took me to extricate myself from his (unexpected) ardor. i’d had no intention of letting him kiss me, but my attention went momentarily elsewhere and he sneaked on in.
i knew when i met him that i didn't want to kiss him. i knew he'd be a bad kisser. why? because when we’d met, he’d handed me a dead fish.
it was okay. i liked them fine.
as the hostess made the introductions, we all shook hands. and i realized again what a powerful first impression a handshake makes. i found myself judging these people based on their handshakes. and i know i always do.
how hard is it to get a handshake right? i ask you. yet so many people have bad ones.
there’s the “handing you a dead fish” handshake.
there’s the “I’m just going to c-clamp your fingers” handshake.
there’s the “i read a book that said a man should have a firm handshake so i’m going to squeeze your fingers until your rings bend” handshake.
here are some handshake tips:
stand up, unless you are a female over the age of 60. for anyone else to remain seated during a handshake (whether as means of introduction, greeting, or goodbye) smacks of unconcern.
the palms of the two people shaking should touch. they do not need to writhe together in a manual lambada. but they should press against each other. the fingers also lie parallel. no curling of fingers, grasping with fingers, or squeezing of fingers is necessary.
if you have sweaty palms, wipe your hand discreetly on your pant leg first. if you have sticky hands, say, “my hands are sticky, so please forgive me if I don’t shake yours.” and then go wash them. if you shake my hand and there’s a tackiness on your skin, i shall wonder what was on your hands and it will repulse me. this will make me associate you, forever, with unpleasant things.
there are probably other pointers to handshaking. but i was thinking about it as i met 6 people last night. by their handshakes i knew who i wanted to sit with at dinner, and who would be interesting to talk to. i was right.
although perhaps it’s like kissing and there are several schools of thought. i’m sure there’s someone somewhere in this crazy old world actually enjoys what i consider to be bad kissing. someone may be hoping to encounter the tiny pointed tongue that a recent date darted around in my mouth for the 15 seconds it took me to extricate myself from his (unexpected) ardor. i’d had no intention of letting him kiss me, but my attention went momentarily elsewhere and he sneaked on in.
i knew when i met him that i didn't want to kiss him. i knew he'd be a bad kisser. why? because when we’d met, he’d handed me a dead fish.
posted by Cupcakegrrl at Friday, July 29, 2005
1 Comments:
I loved this post, and you are so right about using handshakes as a way to know who will be interesting and who is fodder for boredom.
And I don't care how many schools of thought there are on kissing; the darting tongue that's trying to spear my mouth is ALWAYS BAD FORM.
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